Bitter Sweet

If I was a girl, I would fall head over heals.

With that guy next door strong enough to be my man.

I would express my love and be faithful to him.

And be taken for granted for it.

 

If I was a girl, I would wait long dragging minutes.

For that single text message of his assurance for his love.

Will stay away from pubs and boys.

While I wait.

 

If I was a girl, I will wait for eternity.

But will wait in vain.

Just when I would give up on him.

He would call and assure me of his love.

 

If I was a girl, I would send him multiple texts.

Telling him how much I love him and that I’m thinking of him.

But I will receive no reciprocation, neither by call or simple text.

And I will feel alone.

 

If I was a girl, I would feel helpless.

Contemplated to a life of misery.

I will lose my dignity.

And achieve nothing.

 

If I was a girl, I would think he turned off his phone.

Because he is not alone.

I would confront my love and ask for assurance.

But he will just laugh it off telling me I’m paranoid.

 

If I was a girl, I would think he isn’t taking me seriously.

Everytime he goes to bimbo-infested pubs without me.

I wouldn’t be enough to inspire him.

When he’s had a bad day at work.

So he goes out to drink by himself, in bimbo-infested pubs.

 

If I was a girl, my heart will be very dear to me.

More dear than some guy who don’t seem to care.

He can seem to live without me.

So why bother living with him.

 

If I was a girl, I will give him a second chance.

Because I still love him.

But he will take it for granted again.

Because I was so faithful to give him a second chance.

 

If I was a girl, I will leave him.

And break his comfort zone.

He comes chasing after me telling me that he loves me.

But that’s a story I’ve heard a million times.

 

If I was a girl, will I think that he did love me though in his own immature way?

He has hurt me so badly, will I trust him ever again?

Will I realize that I have changed him and turned his world upside down?

I do not know, because I am not a girl.

 

9.23.2009

Originally written on Casa de Mementos (http://joshvinante.multiply.com)

September 23, 2009