The Chaos Theory

It’s funny how simple mistakes lead to the greatest disasters in life.  The Japanese sent the wrong message for unconditional surrender to the allied forces and ended up with two heavily desecrated cities from atomic bombing.  The German ship captain nearby heard the distress call from the Titanic “we are sinking!  we are sinking!” but being German mistook the message for that they were “zinking” (German English for “thinking”).  So the German captain replied “what are you zinking about? LOL.  So down the bottom of the Atlantic came the love that would have been for Leonardo and Kate.

 

Originally posted as “The Chaos Theory” on my early blog Casa de Mementos (http://joshavinante.multiply.com)

Bitter Sweet

If I was a girl, I would fall head over heals.

With that guy next door strong enough to be my man.

I would express my love and be faithful to him.

And be taken for granted for it.

 

If I was a girl, I would wait long dragging minutes.

For that single text message of his assurance for his love.

Will stay away from pubs and boys.

While I wait.

 

If I was a girl, I will wait for eternity.

But will wait in vain.

Just when I would give up on him.

He would call and assure me of his love.

 

If I was a girl, I would send him multiple texts.

Telling him how much I love him and that I’m thinking of him.

But I will receive no reciprocation, neither by call or simple text.

And I will feel alone.

 

If I was a girl, I would feel helpless.

Contemplated to a life of misery.

I will lose my dignity.

And achieve nothing.

 

If I was a girl, I would think he turned off his phone.

Because he is not alone.

I would confront my love and ask for assurance.

But he will just laugh it off telling me I’m paranoid.

 

If I was a girl, I would think he isn’t taking me seriously.

Everytime he goes to bimbo-infested pubs without me.

I wouldn’t be enough to inspire him.

When he’s had a bad day at work.

So he goes out to drink by himself, in bimbo-infested pubs.

 

If I was a girl, my heart will be very dear to me.

More dear than some guy who don’t seem to care.

He can seem to live without me.

So why bother living with him.

 

If I was a girl, I will give him a second chance.

Because I still love him.

But he will take it for granted again.

Because I was so faithful to give him a second chance.

 

If I was a girl, I will leave him.

And break his comfort zone.

He comes chasing after me telling me that he loves me.

But that’s a story I’ve heard a million times.

 

If I was a girl, will I think that he did love me though in his own immature way?

He has hurt me so badly, will I trust him ever again?

Will I realize that I have changed him and turned his world upside down?

I do not know, because I am not a girl.

 

9.23.2009

Originally written on Casa de Mementos (http://joshvinante.multiply.com)

September 23, 2009

The Cafe of Memories

Dumaguete, Philippines

Against my will, I was assigned to Dumaguete in 2002 as a medical representative or territory manager, which ever term suits my eternally broken ego.  I joined the pharmaceutical industry hoping to enjoy the benefits of a new Toyota Corolla company car, corporate attire and serving the high falluting hospitals in Manila.  Instead, they sent me to the sleepy community of Dumaguete where national hero Dr. Jose Rizal himself was deported for subversion.  Well, that’s what I thought.  Dumaguete was a quiet community but its Siliman University gave it an interesting environment.  The students were pretty and fabulous in their own ways.  They came from different interesting cities like Cebu, Bacolod, Cagayan de Oro, Davao, Zamboanga and Cavite.  In fact, Miss Siliman was the most charming girl I’ve every seen.  Only that everybody thought she was a bitch.

Among my favorite places was the Cafe Memento, where I took the name of my Multiply website.  It was very rustic, a hole in a wall even, but intrinsically decorated with Spanish-Filipino art.  The owner was a Kastilaloy himself.  His father I would have combat drinking on certain nights together with his Kastilaloy buddies who looked like Bin Laden and someone else respectively.  Cafe Memento was located in a quiet street fronting the magnificent Siliman University and the ocean.  You could hear the splash of waves from there.

Cafe Memento is the cafe of memories.  Someday I will go back there and reminiscence the beauty of what once was a life I didn’t expect.

Saluda Dumaguete!

 

Originally written on Casa de Mementos (http://joshavinante.multiply.com)

February 10, 2009